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Somehow, the week went by with no new Donald Trump indictments—that we know of. As we’re all well aware, for the past few years Trump has been storming the country like Johnny Appleseed planting crimes in the rich, loamy American soil. And they’re only now starting to bear fruit.
It’s a holiday weekend, so we’re getting a much-needed break from the complimentary reach-around the long arm of the law gave us when it started dropping Trump indictments faster than Rudy Giuliani’s drawers at a 4 p.m. supermarket scotch tasting. So what will the Sunday shows tackle this week?
I see ABC “This Week” scheduled GOP presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy. Not sure why. Maybe he’s actually read a book since his last interview and wants voters to know he still wouldn’t eat green eggs or ham unless Donald Trump said it was okay. “Fox News Sunday” booked former Vice President Mike Pence, who’s running for president because Jesus apparently has a sense of humor after all. Pence is currently polling just ahead of North Dakota Gov. Doug Burgum and just behind the prescription tapeworm that keeps Trump from spontaneously exploding at Arby’s. Oh, and he’s light-years behind Trump himself. Apparently, Republicans are still far more likely to sympathize with the (alleged!) hanger than the hangee.
So as Labor Day approaches, let’s bid a fond farewell to another historic American summer—and hope against hope that by this time next year Trump is drinking toilet gin rickeys out of one of Richard Speck’s old, gently used compression socks.
Let’s see what we have on tap this week, shall we? And happy Labor Day to one and all!
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