The end is nigh and Labour MPs just want to have fun. At the Tories’ expense

Keir Starmer doesn’t even prep for PMQs any more. Rish! is sunk but can’t see he’s in self-destruct mode

The end can’t come too soon. Not just for the Tory backbenchers, but for cabinet ministers too. They sit in the Commons with resigned expressions, checking their phones for potentially lucrative job offers. No one can remember the last time Penny Mordaunt was seen with a smile on her face. Jeremy Hunt had his head down, letting his tenants know he was doubling their rent. Every penny counts.

Relax everyone. There will be plenty of sinecures to go round. But you can’t blame them for worrying. They know the game is up. Most are no longer even going through the motions of looking interested. Like a man on death row, they are just waiting for the date of their execution.